LET'S HUNT THE DEVIL
Most interestingly these questions/concerns come not from a place of pro-activity and the desire to express one's self to the fullest (offensive) but from a fear and insecurity based position (defense). Sadly this is where the greatest divide exists between the great ones and everyone else.
My response(s) were for the most part varied but as I often do in the quiet moments I reflect on interactions and work my hardest to extract a new level of understanding and enlightenment I identified several common threads one of which I will encourage, no CHALLENGE, NO..wait...DARE YOU to pull on, seeing where it leads you.
Stop being scared..... Go, Hunt the Devil
Here's what I want you to do:
Sit in a quiet place with a pen and paper (yes you must actually use your handwriting ability and write it). Now, envision in detail the worst possible
outcomes from your situation and write them down.
For example, If I don't pass this chemistry test:
1. I will have to do 2-3 hours of boring make up work to save my grade in this class.
2. Hear my mom and dad yell at me about how I am lazy and get the usual lecture.
3. Lose my car borrowing privileges
4. Have to sit on the bench because coach will be furious
Okay, now that you have written down every possible negative outcome that you can imagine, begin shifting your attention to the answer to these questions:
What must I do?
How can I best prepare today?
What do I need in place to avoid these negative outcomes?
Once you have these answers and you have done these things, then move on to answer these final questions:
You have identified the negatives, done what is required to prevent and prepare so....
Do you have an actual reason to be worried or concerned?
Are these reasons so big that they deserve your complete and total attention to be solely centered on the problem in order to solve it?
Most likely not; most of the time we perceive fear or uncertainty and believe that the reasons for feeling these things is actually real when in fact they are the magnification of emotional associations, increasing the amount of anxiety we feel.
In other words we think then feel then act; unfortunately we're thinking the wrong thoughts, which lead to the wrong feelings which actually limit our actions.
By actively engaging the ideas and emotions we can begin "hunting the devil" so that we're able to take a pro active approach instead of simply being reactive to the information that our imagination creates. When you embrace this concept you will find the shape of your situation changes. You stop having problems and begin living only with challenges. You detach overwelming emotions from the challenge and begin only seeing the steps leading or preventing you from reaching your goal(s).
Gear up, and buona caccia (Happy hunting)